Why So Stressed?

Well, today I've been in a really weird mood. I rarely actually cry, but today my eyes would just tear up for no real reason (not actual tears, but it felt like they might start at any moment).  I am feeling so stressed right now between school, leading the youth band, Heather and now Mawmaw's fractured tibia, the Focus weekend coming this weekend, and other issues in my life.  Yes, that seems like a lot, but is that really why I'm stressed? I don't think so.

You see, here in the last few weeks, I've started to forget my first Love.  I want to get up in the morning to talk to Him, but I'm too tired.  I say I'll make time during the day, but I forget. I say I'll do it before bed, but then it's so late, and I'm too tired.  I mean I'll talk to Him on the way to class some or sing a song for Him or maybe read some here and there, but the real intimate fellowship with Him where I soak in who He is has not happened here recently. So why am I stressed?  To put it simply, it's because I am dry and have very little, if anything to give.  You can only go so long without continuing to refuel with God. You can try to do it on your own for a little while, but you will burn out very quickly.

I'm tired of this "back of the boat" status.  It's time to release my marble into the pond and run after Jesus again without looking back. So, I'm going to get off for now because my Love is calling me to spend time with Him. No more excuses. I desire and long for Him to pour into me.

This song is how I feel sometimes.

The Chasing Song by Andrew Petterson